How do yall handle posting nudes and being kinky AF only while still showing your faces? I've been daring myself to do that more and more but there's still some fear

@urso hmmm. interesting question. for me i can only do it with levels of nudity i am comfortable with, so ass most of the time, and maybe soft dick if im feeling especially confident. Mastodon's ability to limit the audience and CW has helped me be a bit bolder at times.

@bootblackcub for sure. I do show myself in other social networks but only in here I have it connected with my face, CW and visibility help a lot.

@bootblackcub still, I have that lingering fear that "oh what if Employer knows I'm all naked and kinky online? Will I be fired?"

Consciously I know and repeat to myself "fuck them if it happens", but I don't know. Primal fears, perhaps

@urso well what are your reasons for pushing your comfort level on this?

@Bearprazolam @bootblackcub I was about to say I don't have ulterior motives, but I do: I want to drive home the message of body and sex positivity. We all have diverse bodies and everybody has sexual interests and I want to be the driver of the message that you can do just that, if that makes sense?

Also I get a kick out of sharing myself online, it seems 🤔

@urso @bootblackcub it’s an awesome goal and motivation. Maybe raising voices of people who are more comfortable sharing the pics you like or articles on the topics might give you the same outcome. It’s not an all or nothing game either. Do that and whatever you are comfortable with and boost the message you like too. If it ends up being something you want to push further on make a plan to get more secure in whatever the barriers are ie work.

@Bearprazolam @bootblackcub there's a whole subject of reaching the target audience (whatever they might be) but maybe it's subject for another topic.

Awesome suggestions! As of now I'll continue to do what I'm already doing, it's just that "primal fear" aspect that resurfaces every now and then

@urso @bootblackcub the thing about fleets and stories I like is that they self delete. I’d live such a thing on a platform like this.

@Bearprazolam @bootblackcub for sure, that does give us a sense of control. Even on private chats I'm defaulting to deleting after X days (moved most conversations from whatsapp to signal recently)

@Bearprazolam @urso see I like that feature but I hate that they are a separate element away from a timeline.

@bootblackcub @Bearprazolam also true. Honestly? I never open the fleets because of this very reason. Maybe snapchat got it right the first time around?

@urso @bootblackcub @Bearprazolam as a dick pic sender yes. but as a watcher, daddy needs some pix in his spank bank too lol.

@Dutchfarm @urso @bootblackcub this is a whole mood too. Maybe something that splits the difference or even better let’s you set a burn on date

@Bearprazolam @Dutchfarm @bootblackcub ... is there something like that, but open-source and federated? Feels like a niche in need of a tool, "Sabertooth, the federated snapchat alternative"

@urso @Bearprazolam @bootblackcub hahaha ok ok I be your first user. how long would you leave your nudes exposed before deletion? whats your comfort level?

@Dutchfarm @Bearprazolam @bootblackcub I mean... I don't delete mine here, but if the platform allows I'd say three days is plenty. There's a good chance the deleted nudes are replaced by newer ones, and when they don't... well

@urso I would say the fear is probably part of the allure so it’s about being manageable. I keep the groups I share stuff with small and share only what I feel good about. I give myself all the control to remove and change who can view things. If someone steals or reposts and I lose control then i confront them but it’s a risk I feel is manageable. Also if people are shaming you for something you post you really have to ask them why they saw it in the first place.

@Bearprazolam doesn't matter asking why they saw it if I'm losing my job regardless 😂 I'm teasing, you're right

I do keep the mindset that once I decide to share it online, it's beyond my control who sees it. There are a few things I share only to select friends, a few things I only share here. It's a good mentality, I think

@urso yeah I think it’s easy to think more exposure is somehow better or more exciting but I find that for me I would rather share more with fewer people and get real reactions than shoot for tons of exposure. I know a lot of folks like the opposite and that’s good for them but I try not to feel pressure to do so.

I also am fairly privileged and using that made a five year plan to become more independent in my work too.

@urso @Bearprazolam I have been removing nude pix also with friends. I'm not to worried about friends sharing my nudes, more about AI linking my face to my identity. I've had a friend request from my 9yo niece on my NSFW Instagram a couple months ago. It freaked me out! I still don't know how I was suggested to her. But it made me allot more cautious.

@urso @Dutchfarm that’s why I like this platform so much more than Twitter or insta. It’s is by group purpose built. I also like apps that are built in that model like w bear although they can be pricey since they don’t sell your info.

@urso I pretty much chalk it up to not being shy and pretty carefree. I also feel it adds to the experience for folk. I think it is a little bit ego too. If they see my face, I know, or at least imagine they are enjoying me, not just a cock.

@urso I've felt some desire to share my face here, even if it's in sfw pics only, but haven't managed to work myself up to it. I feel like it's a very superficial barrier for me, since I have no problem sharing it with guys I chat with, and don't mind if they want to share my pics with their friends. Maybe anonymity has made me more comfortable sharing anything here, whether it's nudes or thoughts about mental health, and I don't want to risk losing that.

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